Shock at American GQ as it emerges women are legally allowed to wear clothes

There was shock today in the headquarters of American GQ magazine as the editorial team discovered that it is legal for women to wear clothes. A pale and surprised looking editor told the Daily Quail this afternoon he was "shocked and saddened. For years we have been featuring women on our pages in skimpy outfits or nothing at all, to protect them from what we thought was the law. Although we were saddened to detract attention away from their amazing achievements, liberation and intelligence, we felt we had to. It is a terrible feeling to know we have spent all this time encouraging the mistaken judging of women by the size of their breasts when in fact we could have been concentrating on what we're really interested in: their brains."

It is expected that, following a similar discovery in the murky waters of British law, magazines such as Nuts, Zoo and FHM will be able to feature women in their publications on the basis of merits other than breast size. The FHM editor was quoted today as being "relieved and excited for the future", revealing he plans to have "new features such as 'Successful Women', 'Why there is more to a female than breasts' and 'The end of sexual harassment'"