Thursday, 10 October 2013

Polls generally made up, finds poll

A poll released today found that approximately 98% of polls are made up. The study, released by a non-specified think tank, also revealed that 97% of people believe an uncited "poll"'s information is completely legit.

"This represents a huge problem in our society" said social analyst Nigel Norris. "People change their habits and beliefs based purely on information and views that a random, made up "poll" says most other people think. This means anyone can back up whatever nonsense they say with a random poll and it will sounds sensible."

Poll analyst Bryan Burrows contradicts this view. "In fact 87% of people say they like polls, and 94% of polls say people like it when other people cite polls. It has also been reliably found that if I say "a poll says", then 96.5% of people listening will believe what I'm saying is true. It's great!"

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