Divorce rates soar as PlayStation 4 released

The PlayStation 4 was only released today, but the government has already announced a 30% rise in the number of people going to court to request a divorce. This follows on from the news a few months ago that divorce rates had experienced a 40% rise for around 3 weeks after Grand Theft Auto 5 was released. Facebook also released information this afternoon showing a huge jump of people changing their relationship status to "single".
"We find this often", said a spokesperson for Facebook. "We usually see drops in relationships on the website when new games or gaming consoles are released. We saw the same with the release of GTAV, although this is nothing compared to the drop we saw upon the release of FIFA 2014, when 15% of UK couples became single in the week after it was released."
"Relationship breakdowns often occur after new games are released. It is usually due, unsurprisingly, to one partner being interested in a game and the other not," said Professor of Sociology at Southampton University Nota R. Eel-Seance. "These statistics also, though to a lesser extent, tend to follow the pattern of football games, especially national ones."

Jon Snow attacked by flame wielding Bristolians after confusing Bristol with Wales

There was anarchy in the Channel 4 newsroom tonight as a mob of angry Bristolians attempted to raid the studio armed with burning rags doused in vodka. It followed a seemingly innocuous mistake by newsreader Jon Snow when he referred to Bristol in a news report as "Wales". Once the news had spread around social networking sites, the Bristolian diaspora mobilised in anger at their beautiful city being confused with that horrible place were everyone is impossible to understand and smells.
Mavis Bailey, of Kingswood, Bristol, told the Daily Quail she was hurt and upset by Jon's comments.
"How could he possibly confuse us? I mean like our Bristol is such a lush place, and Wales is just horrible. 'Ere it's well out of order".
Jon Snow was unavailable for comment as he was busy escaping from the mob.